Life was relatively easy up to my 29th year on this planet. That’s when my dad got really sick. After having a stroke and having his lungs worked out from cancer, he needed someone to come take care of him. So, in August of my 29th year of life, that’s what I did. In September, I had my 30th birthday. My dad told me if it had been anything but his wind, he’d be able to fight, but days after my 30th birthday, be passed. Every year after that was a tally mark of how many years it had been since he moved on. Each September came with dred and anxiety.  That is, until my 40th birthday I had thought turning 40 would be hard, but the opposite is true. Turning felt like getting a new start. 41 didn’t come with the same anxiety I had had in my 30s. But 42 comes with something I haven’t had in years. Excitement. Having this party, dressing up, the idea of seeing friends and family and reuniting with people I haven’t seen in years brings me a joy that I have never felt with an upcoming birthday. This journey to the Hero Gala has given me hope, and is getting me through some tough days. I still miss my dad, and I will still at any random time cry like a baby over his passing, though my missing him will no longer be a dark cloud over my Septembers.  No more marking pain. Now we mark the days until joy!